5 Ways To Make The Home Run Derby More Watchable
This year’s Home Run Derby was actually the most watchable I have seen in recent years. It had controversy over the Logan Morrison snub. The star power was huge, sporting a couple of big time rookies and the returning champ Stanton had his chance to defend the title at home. Other than the over embellishment of every single thing happening by the god awful announcers, I was actually able to sit through the entire thing.
But here are 5 ideas on what would make this event more watchable:
1) Take the event to an outdoor park and watch these mammoths smash balls into orbit. Of course, this would make it a lot easier, but the entire event wasn’t designed to be difficult. Guys are already soft tossing every pitch right into their wheel house. Why not watch them hit some juiced up balls with some juiced up bats?
2) Make each baseball hit into the stands worth $100. Nothing is funnier than watching desperate fans sacrifice their lives for a useless souvenir. It doesn’t get more real than having to make the decision between your popcorn, your wife, your baby, or a baseball. I want to see some more competition. Adding a little extra value to the ball could illicit more cringe-worthy highlights, featuring overweight white people going tooth and nail to get that sweet souvenir.
3) Add targets worth bonus time. They already have a bonus 30 second time extension for hitting at least two home runs over 440ft, but this isn’t very helpful for the underdogs. Guys like Blackmon and Moustakas are beasts. Compared to a 6’7″ Aaron Judge, a distance advantage is not exactly fair. Maybe add some advantages for the finesse hitters and include another time variable to the mix.
4) Eliminate the ball having to land rule. As it stands, the ball must hit the ground before the next pitch can be thrown. There is no bigger boner kill than when a guy is mashing away but having to sit and watch his moonshots land. I’d rather see him go on a tear, hitting as many as he can in a row, as fast as he can. I want to really see what they can do in a complete uninterrupted rhythm. I’m sure some guys will gas out but that will still remain a strategy to the game.
5) Let this fuckin guy do all of the announcing.
The Derby will always be corny. But there are always ways to make it a little more entertaining. I could go on… Let’s light more shit on fire, add some gasoline and high powered fireworks to the mix. Let’s replace the little kids in the outfield with half naked college girls. It doesn’t take a very high IQ to figure out what the people want. But as long as they are changing All-Star weekend and not the greatness of the game itself, what the fuck do I care?