— Guardian sport (@guardian_sport) July 10, 2018
Bah. Who cares. It’s just the perfect man with the perfect body and the perfect face going to play soccer in Italy for obscene amounts of money. I have no vested interest in the team or the sport so I’m not going to attempt to pretend I know how good or bad this is or what it means.
I will say I hate him because I ain’t him. Straight up. He looks unreal in underwear and doesn’t have a blemish on his body. Kids cry when they see him and women’s groins explode.
Whats not to hate?