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Man Arrested For Having Sex With A Dead Beaver. Tell Me About It…

Man Arrested For Having Sex With A Dead Beaver. Tell Me About It…

Source: A 35-year-old Washington man was arrested over the weekend for allegedly having sex with a dying beaver while high on methamphetamine, reports Washington television station KXLY

It started around 9 pm when a local woman came across a beaver that had been struck by a car.

“Someone help me save this beaver,” she wrote in a Facebook post. “I flipped him over so he would walk but his leg is broken.”

When she came back, she had a rather unsightly surprise.

“He’s deceased,” she later wrote in the comments. “I caught a homeless man having sex with the beaver. I’m traumatized!!”

No matter how much you love animals it’s highly inadvisable to pull over to help dying roadkill.  Especially a beaver.

Beavers kill about ten people a year and attack several hundred a year including this dipshit from Belarus trying to take a selfie with it.

The beaver attacked, sliced the dipshit’s femoral artery with his badass beaver teeth, and the dipshit died.

I know you’re expecting a “beaver” joke, but we don’t do that here.  You won’t get:

  1. I know the feeling bro
  2. Maybe he didn’t listen in sex ed
  3. I guess he likes hairy beavers

Nope.  Just a straight up PSA that beavers are dangerous and running over a second time would be more prudent than letting a homeless meth head have sex with it.

 

 

 

 

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