It started around 9 pm when a local woman came across a beaver that had been struck by a car.
“Someone help me save this beaver,” she wrote in a Facebook post. “I flipped him over so he would walk but his leg is broken.”
When she came back, she had a rather unsightly surprise.
“He’s deceased,” she later wrote in the comments. “I caught a homeless man having sex with the beaver. I’m traumatized!!”
No matter how much you love animals it’s highly inadvisable to pull over to help dying roadkill. Especially a beaver.
Beavers kill about ten people a year and attack several hundred a year including this dipshit from Belarus trying to take a selfie with it.
The beaver attacked, sliced the dipshit’s femoral artery with his badass beaver teeth, and the dipshit died.
I know you’re expecting a “beaver” joke, but we don’t do that here. You won’t get:
- I know the feeling bro
- Maybe he didn’t listen in sex ed
- I guess he likes hairy beavers
Nope. Just a straight up PSA that beavers are dangerous and running over a second time would be more prudent than letting a homeless meth head have sex with it.