Source – There are plenty of men on this planet who would give anything in exchange for just another inch or two where it matters most. But according to the Daily Star, a 47-year-old man in Hollywood is pretty much the exact opposite. He claims his hog is too damn big. In fact, it’s so big that instead of wrecking starlets on a regular basis, it’s actually wrecking his acting career.
Measuring eight or nine inches when flaccid and 13.5 inches at full mast, Jonah Falcon is “as long as a cucumber, a bottle of wine and even large loaf of bread.” He says his massive penis has definitely made him famous among the Hollywood elite, but at the same time, it kept him from being cast in a major role.
While he might not be cast in any Oscar-winning picture in the near future, Falcon is at least putting his best asset to use by taking Oscar winners to pound town with it.
“I can’t even say if it was men or women,” Falcon said. “Most of the time they sought me out. One or two of them were at parties. I’m a unique property I guess.”
Falcon added that he might produce his own movie one day, and if that actually comes to fruition, he’s going to do a full frontal scene in it because “that’s what people want.” Let’s hope they’ll be able to find a big enough lens for him.
Boo Fucking who. Who wines about having the biggest penis in the world. Jonah Falcon, that’s who.
I’m guessing it has more with you being a whiny bitch and the fact you look like a high school janitor than your unfortunately large hammer.
It could be a humble brag play. “Woes me. Look at this thing. Its a curse.” Not a terrible play.
Time to make chicken soup our of that Dong Jonah. Put one of those A-List star-banging videos on porn hub and watch the money roll in instead of complaining your big old dick didn’t get you a part in the new Transformers movie.
In golf, they call it ‘playing within yourself.’ With a 13 incher that actually might be the name of your first film.