BBC: A “highly significant” and rare carved Roman phallus has been discovered by archaeologists working on finds unearthed during a major road upgrade.
It was found on a broken millstone by experts along the route of the A14 in Cambridgeshire between 2017 and 2018.
However, it has only just been put back together, revealing the penis.
Archaeologists said it was one of only four known examples of Romano-British millstones decorated this way.
During work on Highways England’s £1.5bn upgrade of the A14 between Cambridge and Huntingdon, more than 300 querns (hand mills) and millstones were recovered by archaeologists MOLA Headland Infrastructure, working with partners Oxford Archaeology.
The stone which recently revealed its genital markings had been preserved by being reversed and adapted for use as a bedstone, after being initially broken.
Decorated querns and millstones of any date are extremely rare, with only four such Roman millstones discovered from around a total of 20,000 nationwide, said Steve Sherlock, Highways England’s archaeology lead for the A14. He said phallic images were “seen as an important image of strength and virility in the Roman world, with it being common practice for legionaries to wear a phallus amulet, which would give them good luck before battle”.
Those crazy Roman bastards have been drawing dicks all over the world for over 2000 years and we are just finding them now?
55 years before the birth of Christ, Julius Cesar and a couple of legions of Roman legions beat the shit out of poorly armed Celtic tribes before coming home via France carving dicks from Rome to England to France, and back again over 100 year period ending in 70 AD. Do you have any idea how many ancient dicks carved by hundreds of thousands of men are just laying around the corridor from Italy to England?
Roman’s love of the wiener dates back 1000’s of years to the God of dick, Fascinus. It was believed the penis was a good luck charm that brought virility and ultimate strength to those who carved or wore dicks on their person (Trinkets and ‘dick amulets) were all the rage during the time of Christ but we’ve been creating dick-art forever.
In fact, the earliest known dick is a 28,000-year-old cave dick in Cumbria that’s thought to be the first known homage to the male genitals in human history.