China brings back controversial anal Covid swabs weeks before Winter Olympicshttps://t.co/SIeQ5a91d1 pic.twitter.com/6mqRq3c4UZ
— Daily Star (@dailystar) January 21, 2022
OH, YEAH. Olympians into the butt stuff are in for a treat.
Daily Mail: China has brought back anal swab testing to screen for Covid-19 in a bid to stop the spread of the Omicron variant, just two weeks before the Beijing Winter Olympics begin.
At least 27 people underwent the controversial anal swab tests at an apartment building in Beijing where a 26-year-old woman had contracted Omicron, the city’s first recorded case of the variant, according to Chinese newspaper The Beijing News.
The anal tests involve inserting a sterile cotton swab up to two inches (5cm) into the rectum and rotating it several times. The swab is then removed before being analyzed in a lab.
Earlier this week, China cancelled plans to sell tickets to the public for the Olympics and said only ‘selected’ spectators will be permitted to attend, as the number of Covid-19 cases in the country reached their highest since March 2020.
And organizers today said the already scaled back Olympics torch relay will be cordoned off from the general public because of Covid measures.
The residential area of Haidian district where the confirmed Omicron case lives has been sealed off, with large barriers erected to stop people from going in and out, while tests – including anal swabs – are conducted.
Anal swab testing has been used in China since 2020, but became prevalent in Beijing in January 2021 after a nine-year-old boy tested positive for the virus.
China sparked further controversy in March last year when it expanded the use of the anal swabs to any foreign travellers flying into Beijing.
Check it out – they will bend you over in the baggage carousel to do it, too.
I
I don’t want our Olympians to have Chinese medical officials driving swabs six inch swabs into the bung pieces of our winter Olympians but after everything I’ve read, I’d take a flyer on Beijing if I were them. Can you imagine Connor McDavid being stoked to have a CCP official insert a stick in his ass the second he gets off a 16 hour flight? Can you imagine having someone in a hazmat suit following you around waiting to shove a stick in your bum for the good of the state? The same state that fucked over the entire planet with a pandemic responsible for killing 6 million people??
Hard to trust.
Are anal swabs the most accurate way to test for Covid? Yes.
Am I trusting someone approved by the CCP to rummage around my asshole? No.
Would I be a little leary of heading to China knowing they plan on greeting me with a rectal exam prior to competing in the Olympics? Yeah.
Would I eat a BUCKET of quinoa salad prior to take off just to see what happens when the Chinese medical official ‘breaks the seal’? Probably. I’d chase it with some jerk chicken and southwest creamed corn, too.
I bet this is just a punitive thing for athletes from countries China hates. Russian and North Korean atheletes wll probably get the saliva test while Canadian and American athletes will get an anal swab with old baseball bats. I feel like that’s the kind of power move China would pull to remind us who controls what. Like a warning.
“Remember: We are everywhere. Including your asshole.”
I’d rather stay home.
Someone needs to tell Brad Marchand he dodged a bullet.
DB
