There is a scene from the 2004 Paul Haggis film Crash where Matt Dillon, a police officer, sexually assaults a black woman during a traffic stop. Then, a couple days later, Dillon’s character arrives at the scene of a car accident and pulls the same woman from her burning vehicle. The psychological impact of having your life saved by a putrid, racist, sexual predator is not lost on viewers.
Finger-fucks you on Tuesday, saves your life on Thursday. What a world.
In the exact same way, the man who finger-fucked us for 4 years might be, and hear me out on this, about to save all of us.
The anti-vaxxer community is largely comprised of individuals who basically worshipped the snail trail of Donald Trump, and now that their Big Orange Daddy has stated publicly that he is pro-vaccine and that vaccines are safe, he has the opportunity to convince the precise people we need to get vaccinated, to get vaccinated.
In short, Donald Trump, as of right now, is in a better position than anyone else on the planet to save America from this pandemic. Already we have seen Trump say publicly that the vaccines are safe and prevent people from dying, causing some anti-vaxxers to throw Trump under the bus. But in reality he just hasn’t been loud enough, like he was with immigration, or Nancy Pelosi, or witch-hunts, or his golf courses.
Because if you put Trump behind a microphone with millions of people who worship the ground he drives his golfcart on, and if he delivers one of his barnburners that feature his signature style of being barely literate, adds a dash of libtard bashing, but throws in a wake-up call to his flock about how taking the vaccine is safe, he could help convince the very crowd that needs to get vaccinated to finally get the jab.
A call in by Trump to Tucker Carlson to discuss vaccines could have most impact in moving anti-vax sentiment in US.
— ian bremmer (@ianbremmer) December 23, 2021
It is a risk for Trump, sure. He could lose his sloped-brow following in an instant. But as of right now, we haven’t seen anything powerful enough to pry their collective lips from Trump’s mushroom penis, and even though COVID-skeptics and the vaccine-hesitant have planted their Tiki torches into the ‘COVID is a hoax’ landscape after Trump himself called it a hoax, they have always found a way to toss Trump’s taco salad every time he flip-flopped on an issue, so why should this be any different?
OK, fine. This might be different. Trump would have to have an incentive to motivate the MAGA mass in the first place, such as a blanket pardon from any of the various felonies he could be charged through the New York State Attorney’s office, for example. Also, Trump will have to muster the courage to risk losing his knuckle-dragging constituency by telling them they have all been dead wrong since the beginning. The MAGA crowd might be a little slow, but they want their bleach and drink it too.
As for the rest of us, we would simply have to live with the fact that Trump had just enough piss left to put out the fire he was partially responsible for starting in the first place. He finger-fucked us in early 2020, but now has a shot of pulling us from the blaze. That’s a win, in these times.