Officials revealed today that the El Dorado Wildfire in California was started by a gender reveal party using pyrotechnics. Seven-thousand acres of livable wilderness for wild animals (both human and otherwise) were destroyed, all for some couple’s hope of having the biggest gender reveal they or their loved ones had ever seen.
You might be an asshole, with a social media, problem if you feel the need to have a pyro show for a gender reveal party (?!?), and it starts a wildfire in dry, fire-ravaged California.
Buy a food-coloured cake. What's the big deal?https://t.co/ZZ1ROhh0OK
— Abby (@abbythetweet) September 7, 2020
And I’ll say it – I hope the party was small in numbers, because the pandemic is still on and all that. Pyro doesn’t really give the impression that this couple kept things intimate, however.
Please stop with the “gender reveal” parties. You’re not revealing a gender — all you can find out at this stage is your child’s genitals. So it’s technicaly a genital reveal party. That’s just weird. So let’s just stop, ok? Bonus: you won’t start a fire by just asking the doc. https://t.co/6Mco8xLv5y
— Keola (@MrKeola) September 7, 2020
Maybe they wanted to go viral, like so many of these increasingly creative gender reveals do. But for the love of everything on this Earth – no one cares about your baby’s gender so much that they need it revealed in pyrotechnics. No one really cares that much about your baby’s gender AT ALL (well, maybe J.K. Rowling…). But to launch gender-revealing pyrotechnics in dry summer, in California, already ravaged by wildfires?
Take the L, the fine, maybe even the jail time, because you’re an ignorant fool.
And stick with baked goods for the next one, or let yourself be surprised so you avoid a) starting a massive wildfire you morons, or b) looking way worse than you would have if you’d just stuck to being a cliched social media trend-follower with a cake fetish, or lack of concern for whichever bird chokes on those released pink balloons.