Hey Everyone, my name is Graham and I’m old/new around here. I was a day one guy here at Dean Blundell enterprises or whatever he’s calling it these days. Then life got in the way, and I had to work a real job making actual money. Now you may see in my profile that I like tacos, and insinuated that I’d mainly be writing about tacos. Though true, I figured I’d expand my writing palate. I used the word palate because you have a palate in your mouth, and this post is about food.
Now, cooking a good steak is a very special skill, and everyone on this planet has their own way of cooking and perfecting the art. However, absolutely ruining a great cut of striploin takes a certain kind of person, one who isn’t afraid to try new things, or care about things like whether or not his guests will enjoy their dinner.
PREP: 5 hours
4qty 1 1/4-to-1 1/2-inch-thick boneless rib-eye or New York strip steaks (about 12 ounces each) or filets mignons (8 to 10 ounces each), trimmed
Virgin Olive Oil
And you know what – throw some goddam Rosemary in there if you’re feeling sassy.
About 5 hours before grilling, remove the steaks from the refrigerator and let sit, covered, at room temperature. Some people choose not to marinate their steaks, and those people are the reason we have climate change, and bees dying off.
Brush the steaks on both sides with oil and season with pepper and steak spice. And if there’s time – Rosemary. Don’t forget to make a HUGE mess on the counter so your wife screams at you.
After 5 hours or 12 beers, heat the grill to oblivion.
Grab those steaks from the fridge and head outside. Make sure to watch that first step – it’s a doozy.
Pick the steaks up from the ground and quickly check to make sure no one saw.
Place the steaks dirt side down on the grill so no one sees the dirty side of the steaks and asks ‘Hey did you drop those steaks?’
Cook until golden brown and slightly charred, 4 to 5 minutes.
Maybe now is a good time to grab another beer. Head back into the garage, and pilfer one of your sons Bud Light Orange beers.
Is that Pete? It is, it’s Pete. Head across the street to check out Pete’s new lawnmower.
Make sure to ask Pete if that’s a new lawn mower. And remember to tell him that he is a priss for buying an electric mower.
If there’s time argue about the benefits of mulching the clippings, or leaving them on the lawn to add nutrients to the soil bed.
Oh shit. The steaks.
Turn the steaks over and continue to grill 3 to 5 minutes for medium-rare. Actually you know what? Don’t bother.
Jesus Christ, you really screwed up.
Ok. calm down.
Go in the house and get some foil. Wrap these whatever they are now in some foil, and put on the counter to rest.
Tell your wife and her family that you just need to run to the store for a quick sec.
Ask if anyone needs anything to really sell it.
This last step is perhaps the most important of all: