There’s a race to name 10 of Hamilton, Ontario’s 77 snow plows, and why not. It gets engagement, and snow clearing might be fun to watch when “Plowy McPlowface” shows up to clean your street when you’re high on shrooms waiting out this big Amegeddon-type storm we’re getting over the next three days.
But there needs to be a financial component, and I have figured it out.
Submissions have closed for the first annual Name the Plow Initiative, and we have to say that we’re truly impressed by the creativity! Now’s your chance to cast your vote from the short list and help us select the 10 winning names: https://t.co/GMqtpWrioj pic.twitter.com/oWOj9BNp2D
— City of Hamilton (@cityofhamilton) December 20, 2022
Eugene Sleddy
Austin Plowers
Clearopathra
The Big Leplowski
Betty Whiteout
All great names, but what about “Doug” or “Allen?” And where’s the corporate support?
Hamilton is in the heart of Ontario’s snow belt. Hamiltonians have their own snow plow app to help track when “Clearopathra” might show up to dig Hamiltonians out.
Hamilton's new snow plow tracker is the ant farm simulator I never knew I wanted. https://t.co/sHIqRxBCdL pic.twitter.com/OTyIRDgEER
— Nicholas Mizera (@nicholasmizera) November 15, 2018
The Plow Naming contest isn’t just a big deal. It’s gripping the city with influencers like Max Kerman from the Arkells getting into it.
Hey everyone, I don’t ask for much but today I need your help. Somehow I’ve been nominated to be the potential name for the @cityofhamilton snow plow. There’s a lot of worthy names, but “Max Kermanator” simply makes the most sense.
Plz vote today:https://t.co/Tm8Noxgpxl pic.twitter.com/5nqQapr97J— Max Kerman (@Max_Kerman) December 21, 2022
I’m a fan of names like “Bussy Galore” or Porn companies sponsoring snow removal companies to help offset the taxpayer cost, as Porn Hub did with the city of Boston a few years ago. Naming contests for plows and transit vehicles are fun and all but attach it to some community fundraiser with a corporate entity.
A Peter North Plow or an Alexis Texas Plow with Porn Hub logos would net $50k per plow monthly. With ten plows to name, that’s half a million in porn money to help the people of hamilton dig out with some taxpayer relief.
Sponsoring all the snow plows in hamilton would net millions at $50k per plow, and I’m just getting warmed up.
Mayor Dean Blundell has a nice ring to it. Make sure you tell your kids not to google the logo on the snow plows, and you’re good.
DB
PS: Premier Ford said he greased up his shovel and is ready to dig you out if needed. Plowy McSmokesface is here for you.
Guys – If you're lucky, Plowy McSmokesface might dig you out over the next three days. Finger crossed! pic.twitter.com/qyd8h29odH
— Dean Blundell🇨🇦 (@ItsDeanBlundell) December 22, 2022
