LADIES AND GENTLEMEN — an update on the fart investigation involving @maxkellerman that is currently rocking ESPN and @LeBatardShow. Here is iso footage of Max yesterday. Do we think this a sneeze or a cough with ulterior motives? pic.twitter.com/9XpJqRmuIs
— Parakeet Cortes (@Ryan_Cortes) April 16, 2019
"It wasn't me."
— Sporting News (@sportingnews) April 16, 2019
Fuck you, Max Kellerman. Not only does everyone hate you but you’re a terrible liar and you are void of principals.
Nothing worse than when a guy farts and maintains his innocence when everyone knows he did it. He SWEARS, smiling, he didn’t do it and there’s always that little sliver of doubt that makes you think you might be crazy or hearing things. That kinda farter is the fucking worst. If you fart, just say you farted. Everyone farts. Everyone loves their own farts. The only reason Max doesn’t admit to the fart is it probably smells.
Max Kellerman farting on air.
— Nick Sharara (@TheProducerNick) April 16, 2019
Why is it only the hot farts smell bad? The ones that are guttural and warm to release and for a split second you think there’s a better than 30% chance you shit yourself a bit.
I think girls like a man who can admit to farting. I don’t think girls are looking for a guy who loves to float biscuits, but I do think they want a man who (if he farts) can own it with pride and a sense of humor.
It’s late. Bonus Blog. Here’s a killer collage of farters from around the world to take you into your day!