Source – A homeless man terrified McDonald’s staff in Cornwall when he began waving his penis around with one hand and a knife in the other.
Edward James Wright had already threatened staff at a nearby petrol station and held someone up at knife point before to got to the St Austell McDonald’s.
Wright pleaded guilty at Truro Crown Court to charges of robbery, possessing a knife, assault, criminal damage and exposure.
Prosecutor Jason Beal described how Wright chased a man he had tried to mug to McDonald’s at 6.30am on August 28.
He said: ‘The defendant approached and began banging his knife against the window.
‘He appeared to damage his knife and, in response to that, the defendant then took his penis out of his trousers and began waving that around to the people who were inside.’
Wright then smashed the front door window and then assaulted the restaurant manager which led to staff being forced to lock the doors.
When sentencing him to 32 months Judge Robert Linford said: ‘You were threatening and menacing and completely out of control.
‘You threatened someone by making demands of their keys and wallet and the person concerned flees. You waved your genitals around because you are drunk and stupid.’
No offence to Judgie McJudgeface but I politely disagree with his ruling especially the last sentence.
He wasn’t waving his genitals around because he was “drunk and stupid.” He was waving his genitals around because he could and you’re jealous.
If I could physically wave my dick around and scare the shit out of people because they considered it a weapon, that’s all I would be doing right now. This dude “wrapped” his entire hand around his wang and “waved it” around. “Waved” as in it’s discernable it went from one side to the other. Everything in this story tells me despite the 32 months in jail and the knife in the other hand, he has a something to live for and that sounds like an embarrassingly large penis.
Do your time Eddie. If I was hung like a circus moose I’d do the same thing.
