Source – Friends who give tough love just want what’s best for you.
A new study at the University of Plymouth found that people who insult their friends aren’t necessarily mean-spirited — some just want the insultees to benefit in the long run.
Scientists surveyed 140 adults and asked them about hypothetical situations.
“We identified several everyday examples where this might be the case — for instance, inducing fear of failure in a loved one who is procrastinating instead of studying for an exam,” psychological scientist and the study’s author Belén López-Pérez wrote.
The researchers found that subjects who were mean to their partners were more likely to be empathetic and want their partners to succeed.
“These findings shed light on social dynamics, helping us to understand, for instance, why we sometimes may try to make our loved ones feel bad if we perceive this emotion to be useful to achieve a goal,” López-Pérez said.
When I saw this headline this morning while doing lines of morning blow, I wasn’t impressed at first. I picked on it because I’m trying to write shit and I’m a “no stone left un-turned” kind of guy.
I could save “researchers” a lot of time if they just asked me: “why do we treat people we love the most, the worst?” That’s easy. It’s because a) you’re jealous or b) unconditional love is a safe zone where we feel like we can let our inner asshole out.
I’ve often asked my girlfriend if she talks to people at work or mutual friends they way she talks to me and she replies by asking me the same question. I get mad and say, “Would you just answer the question?” She gets mad and says, “Fuck you”. God I love that about us. We know deep down that neither of us is going anywhere and in the comfort of our relationship, we can verbally kick the shit out of each other because its waaayyy too much work to try and sell the house, get separate bank accounts, and find another victim to trick into a relationship.
So the next time your partner calls you a fuckwad, relax. It just means they’re comfortable and you’re on the right track.
